The Power of Loving Words
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The Power of Loving Words
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Never underestimate the power of the words you use to your children. Like adults, they need to hear that the people they love most value them as individuals. Your words will stay with your children their whole lives, and help determine, not only the kind of adults they will grow into, but the kind of parents they will be to their own children. Children who are told they are loved and accepted have a head start. They know that their parents’ love is not conditional. They are free to take risks and fail. This knowledge alone can be liberating enough to set a child on the pathway to success. There are some simple ways parents can make a difference to their child’s self-image.
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| Every Child is Unique |
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Foster the individual differences among your children. Celebrate their different talents, tastes, interest and abilities. Every child has a unique personality and a unique contribution to make to the family. Without labelling, or comparing, show your children you recognise and value the characteristics that make them unique.
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| Children Want to Feel Good About Themselves |
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Positive self-esteem gives children confidence, the knowledge they are worthwhile, and hope for the future. Children with healthy self-esteem know they can give anything a go. They know a failure doesn’t make them a failure. They know who they are and their place in the world.
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| Children Want to Know Their Parents Love Them |
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Tell them often. Give them a hug, a smile, a listening ear – every day of their lives. Be glad about the things they are glad about. Share their successes and celebrate them. Try not to deflate them. Show them you value effort as well as achievement. Remind them of stories about themselves, special occasions and milestones in their lives. Don’t be grudging with your love and praise.
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| Children Want Respect |
| The most rebellious children are the often ones who feel they are worthless. Children who are told they are fools or imcompetents will believe it if the person telling them is mum or dad. Involve children in the life f the family. Give them suitable chores that help the family function well. Trust them with responsibilities. Let them help you do jobs even when it slows you down a bit. Show them the right way to do things and then trust them to get on with it themselves. Be patient when they make a mistake so they see that is how people learn. |
| Children Want Parents |
| It’s a hard job growing up. Children look to parents to be their chief guides and cheerleaders. Show them you value their opinions. Discuss possible solutions to problems. Ask them their ideas about how late they should be allowed to stay up, what consequences might be if they act unwisely. Make your own standard and values clear, not only through your words but also through your actions. Explain the reasons when you are not happy about the way they have behaved but make sure they know, whatever they do, you love them. Look for ways to fix problems, not to blame or punish. |
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